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Name: Santi
Age: 20
Location: Madrid, Spain.
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IAMTHEillusioNATION

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Stay in bed day
Saturday, March 25, 2006

Oh god, there's so much I have to tell you. I went out last night. Who with? No, it wasn't with Dah. He was very busy. lol. I went out with Paul. He's an English guy I met on the net. We had been e-mailing each for about a week, and even though I thought it was a little too soon, I said yes when he asked me if I wanted to go clubbing with him. I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing. I mean, it took me half a year to have the balls to meet Dah. But this time was different. I kinda liked him, but he's not dating at the moment because he just broken up with his boyfriend of 2 and a half years. But I didn't have any plans to attack him or anything.

So, I met him at around 1 am, and went to this bar and talked for a while. I thought it'd be really awkward to meet him, not only for the reasons mentioned above, and there was also the challange to speak English for several hours, but it actually turned out well. He was really awesome. So then we went to this trendy disco because we were lucky enough to get a free pass. We sat in a couch and talked for a while. We have a lot in common. But it was time to dance, and we were having a great time, and I noticed this guy looking at him. After a couple of minutes he looked at him again. And then again. And then he came right next to us and introduced himself. It wouldn't take a genius to know he was particularly interested in meeting Paul. Paul was also interested in the other guy, but he didn't want to upset me or anything. I said something like "go ahead, I don't mind", cause I really wasn't against the idea. I mean, it's not like he's mine or something. But I don't know what to think now. I've been in this strange mood all day. It's not disappointment, nor regret. Maybe it's indifference. I don't know. It's not just about this, it's about everything. I used to say I was excited about this year but what's the use of making yourself believe that you're going to get everything you want when you secretly know that nothing's going to happen? Anyway, we all have our ups and downs every now and then, and I'll be fine in a couple of days.

I'm not completely hopeless yet, so don't worry.

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
22:31

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