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Name: Santi
Age: 20
Location: Madrid, Spain.
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Recent

I Would
Good things come to those who wait
How stupid can I be
It's raining men, hallelujah
Mijn reis aan Amsterdam
Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...
Slutty
I think I'm paranoid
Social drinking
Oh, I'm nervous

Archives

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September 2006
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November 2006

Credits

IAMTHEillusioNATION

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This too shall pass
Friday, March 31, 2006

I think I owe you an explanation about my last post. I've been trying to believe I'm ok about Paul not being interested in a relationship right now. I always knew this, but I secretly harboured the illusion that he'd eventually realize I like him, and would be interested in me. I was willing to wait, and I actually believed that "good things come to those who wait". I can't believe how stupid can I be sometimes. Paul told me yesterday that he has been seeing the guy he kissed during this week, and they really like each other. He clearly stated that he didn't want a relationship at the moment, but I feel they'll end up together really soon. I so knew this would happen. And before you think he's a jerk, you should remember that *I* was the one who encouraged him to kiss that guy, and he doesn't know anything about my feelings, so he's not trying to hurt me by telling me this. So if there's anyone to blame in this story it's me, and only me. I need to see him to talk about this. It won't change anything, but at least it'll make feel better.

I will survive, that's for sure, but at the moment it seems pretty hard. I have a cold, my head is about to explode, my situation at school is pretty fucked up, my knee hurts and I've been frigid for a week. But don't worry, this too shall pass.

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
13:55

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Dial L for Loser
Thursday, March 30, 2006

It's funny how when you think that things are really fucked up, they can get even worse, and it seems to be too late to change them, or you don't have the balls to do it, and you feel this is something you will definitely regret.

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
21:07

1 comments

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I'm so fine
Wednesday, March 29, 2006

My deepest apology for the excessively dramatic post which I wrote last Saturday. I hadn't analyzed the situation very well and I just started typing and I came out with with you read. I'm feeling better now. I don't think it was that bad after all. I still plan on having a friendship with him, and who knows or cares about the future. I'm willing to wait until he feels ready for a relationship, but it's not like I'll lose my mind about it. In fact, I'm going to help him to find a new place and a job, which is what friends are for, uh? I'm such a great friend. lol.

In other unrelated news, my knee was really fucked up during the weekend and by Monday I simply couldn't move it. Yes, it's my bad knee again. I have an appointment with my doctor in a couple of weeks to see if he finally tells me if there's something wrong with it or what.

My computer has been acting up lately, but it's NOT my fault, so if I disappear for a few days, that's the reason.

Other than that, my life's pretty boring right now, but I'm fine with it.

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
15:55

0 comments

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Stay in bed day
Saturday, March 25, 2006

Oh god, there's so much I have to tell you. I went out last night. Who with? No, it wasn't with Dah. He was very busy. lol. I went out with Paul. He's an English guy I met on the net. We had been e-mailing each for about a week, and even though I thought it was a little too soon, I said yes when he asked me if I wanted to go clubbing with him. I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing. I mean, it took me half a year to have the balls to meet Dah. But this time was different. I kinda liked him, but he's not dating at the moment because he just broken up with his boyfriend of 2 and a half years. But I didn't have any plans to attack him or anything.

So, I met him at around 1 am, and went to this bar and talked for a while. I thought it'd be really awkward to meet him, not only for the reasons mentioned above, and there was also the challange to speak English for several hours, but it actually turned out well. He was really awesome. So then we went to this trendy disco because we were lucky enough to get a free pass. We sat in a couch and talked for a while. We have a lot in common. But it was time to dance, and we were having a great time, and I noticed this guy looking at him. After a couple of minutes he looked at him again. And then again. And then he came right next to us and introduced himself. It wouldn't take a genius to know he was particularly interested in meeting Paul. Paul was also interested in the other guy, but he didn't want to upset me or anything. I said something like "go ahead, I don't mind", cause I really wasn't against the idea. I mean, it's not like he's mine or something. But I don't know what to think now. I've been in this strange mood all day. It's not disappointment, nor regret. Maybe it's indifference. I don't know. It's not just about this, it's about everything. I used to say I was excited about this year but what's the use of making yourself believe that you're going to get everything you want when you secretly know that nothing's going to happen? Anyway, we all have our ups and downs every now and then, and I'll be fine in a couple of days.

I'm not completely hopeless yet, so don't worry.

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
22:31

0 comments

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Spring
Thursday, March 23, 2006

Current music: Proof, by Rachael Sage.

I'm trying hard to think of something worth of an entry, but I can't. Time has flownduring this week, which is something bizarre since like nearly every week it looks like Friday is far, far away. I've been busy studying for an exam I have tomorrow, so I guess that's what has kept me busy enough not to think about the weekend. I'm excited for something else, but I can't tell you about it, cause I don't want to jinx it. lol. I'm going through an slightly positive phase. It's not like I'm overexcited and jumping all the time, but I'm ok, excited for the things to come in the next few weeks. Seems like Spring is affecting me. I'm also happy because Andrew is happy. :P

Must-have albums for this Spring:

Jewel - Goodbye Alice in Wonderland [May 2]
Nelly Furtado - Loose [May 23]
Skin - Fake Chemical State [already released, will get it soon]
The Zutons - Tired of Hangin' Around [April 17]

There are more to be confirmed, but so far this Spring looks like it'll be very exciting, in every single way.

Be well,

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
23:01

1 comments

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Dinner & concert
Tuesday, March 21, 2006

It was great to have such a busy weekend. Last Sunday I went out for dinner with my friend Fran, and it was great except for the fact that when I had just left my home it started raining like hell and when I arrived to the place when I met Fran I was soaking wet. He told me that he has almost convinced our friends to come here to spend the holidays with me. I'm already excited about it, but I'll wait to see them here to believe it. You know, it's not the first time they attempt to do this and I don't know if I should be get all excited. Anyway...

So after that I met Dah to go to a concert. We went to see Nika, which we had already seen last November [read about it HERE] The concert was at a small club which we didn't know so we got lost on the way but we finally managed to find it. It was a very intimate concert and I enjoyed it a lot, and not because I ordered a margarita as soon as it started. lol. The setlist consisted of 12 songs: 4 songs from her debut album, 3 very well selected covers and 5 new songs. How do I remember it so well? I have a bootleg! lol. We got to talk to her a little bit after the concert and she was very nice. Dah and I also talked to her mother before AND after the concert. Seriously, she's one of the nicest women I've ever known. :P After that I walked Dah to his bus stop, which is really close to where I live now. I got home at around 5 am. lol. Thank god we didn't have school on Monday [it was Father's Day and Madrid was one of the three provinces where that day was a holiday]

I loved having a busy weekend. No matter if I'm fatigued now, cause I had a great time. It'd be nice to have more weekends like this, don't you think?

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
21:58

0 comments

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Brainwashed is coming
Saturday, March 18, 2006

Current music: Stupid Girl, by Garbage.

I finally had a not so uneventful Saturday. I was on msn after lunch and I found Julio aka Coolio. He's a guy I met when I attended a Blondie concert back in 2004, and he's been one of my best online friends since then. We've been meaning to meet each other for a long, long time, but we finally did today. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it'd be. We had a coffee while talking about our favorite subject: boys. Yes, that's what gay guys do when they have coffee! lol. We also visited a couple of shops which had plenty of t-shirts to die for. I'd have bought a dozen of them. lol. Anyway, it was cool, he's a really great guy and I finally did something on a Saturday afternoon. :P

Dah is starting a blog hosting network called Blog Quarters, so if you have been toying with the idea of having a blog in Spanish and need a good hosting service, contact him. I always support him in his numerous projects and this time is no exception. I'm going to start a blog in Spanish called Brainwashed. The intro has been designed by Dah himself. Tell me it isn't great. He's so talented, I hate him. lol. Oh, and don't worry, I'll keep on writing here. I'm like a cockroach, you just can't get rid of me. :P

Don't believe in fear,

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
21:07

0 comments

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Be my partner in crime
Thursday, March 16, 2006

I'm exhausted. I spent like three hours at Ikea buying some stuff for my new place. Sometimes I think my parents spoil me to death. They bought me this really cool bed, which is like 1.60 m tall:

I love it to bits. It was love at first sight. lol.

Speaking of love... I don't know if it's because spring is coming or what but I want to meet someone special, and I'm in the mood to go out and dance and all, but I need a partner in crime, and Dah doesn't seem to be into the idea of going hunting with me, so if you want to take part in this oh so evil plan just let me know.

That's all for today. I hope to talk about something interesting in my next entry. I'm attending a concert this Sunday. That's something.

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
23:23

1 comments

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Downtown boy
Tuesday, March 14, 2006

I'm deeply sorry for this much longer than expected break. I had some problems with my computer and it took some days to find out there was something wrong with my graphic card so I had to have that fixed. So...

I've been super busy opening boxes and organizing everything but my room looks pretty cool. I still have to work on some details [like posters and pictures on the walls], but I love how it looks. The best thing about living here is that everything is so close. I'm not bragging, I'm just sharing my happiness. lol.

I know I'm terribly behind the times but I must say that picking Crash over Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture was a sad, sad decision. Crash is a good film but it's all about cliches, whereas Brokeback is a cutting-edge masterpiece which has been unexpectedly [yet deservedly] successful all over the world [it has grossed almost $150 million so far, and DVD sales are expected to be huge] . To say that this is the proof that Hollywood wasn't ready to give the big award to a so-called gay movie would be put it midly. I'll just say that political correctness sucks big time, especially in Hollywood.

Nick Lachey's new single is pretty good. No, I actually think it's excellent, one of the best singles of the year so far. I'm really impressed. And he's been looking surprisingly fine lately. May divorce be with you.

I hope everything's going well for all of you. I've missed you.

xxx

Santi

[Darkdancer] danced away @
22:58

1 comments

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